Why blog? An interesting question if ever there was one! Well, today's mission involved merchandising and architectural design. On face value, the brief sounded fairly straight forward:
- Source a practical, stylish table for the avian residents of Foxglove Falls, to dine and socialise -
But on close inspection, it's clear that our feathered friends' requirements vary dramatically. Elvis, the resident pheasant, has body dysmorphia and struggles with the concept of relativity. The disproportionate weight of his rump versus his fellow diner, a blue tit, creates a seesaw sensation, which is further exacerbated by this season's hurricane force winds. It's all in the psychology. Elvis is keenly aware of his equal rights to the sunflower seeds and peanuts on offer, and is not inclined to share his entitlement. The Jay, not a fan of the limelight, intimidates the small songbirds with her predatory presence, and then there's Sammy, the greedy grey squirrel.
"Why don't you google bird feeders?' was Scarlett's pithy response as I pulled my beanie firmly down over my ears. Ahh the younger generation, 'Googling it' seems to be the answer to all the great questions of our times.
"No Scarlett, I'm going to make a bold move... I'm rejecting a virtual visit in favour of driving to an actual garden centre. I'm hoping to speak to someone and handle the merchandise in real-time."
"Ohh"
Well, I'm pleased to report that the small road trip was a huge success on several levels:
- I experienced the splendour of the glorious day, without the insulation of Foxglove Falls and all it's distractions!
- Jason, an erstwhile, knowledgeable Twitcher, having established my avian requirements, helpfully recommended and demonstrated the benefits of the 'Peckish Dining Station.
All that's needed now is a board meeting for our feathered friends to establish a code of conduct. This I fear may prove a little more daunting, it may well be my first foray into the world of politics!
Friday, 19 February 2016
Thursday, 18 February 2016
Hoovering Muscles
Twenty four hours after the consultation with Lola, the SEBO has landed. Stylish, retro and sleek, it looks like a catwalk model at New York fashion week, probably at part of the VB collection! Once plugged in, it's all go with a definite mind of its own! A little unnerving to find it shimmying across the carpet at speed, unaccompanied on the first day...
"Wow Auntie Peaches, your hoover is state of the art, a robotic cleaner... cool" Scarlett pronounces. Her chirpy presence at Foxglove HQ is an unexpected bonus to the working day.
Working from home via computer link is de riguer as part of the 'Entrepreneurial Spark'. Thanks to our sparky intern, we now have a whole new dictionary of modern vernacular here at Foxglove Falls. Scarlett and I have become 'desk buddies' and we now 'hot desk' in the kitchen; the only room where the wireless link is uninterrupted!
Obviously, we will be conducting trials with the robotic hoover, monitoring the levels of wolf hair accumulating in the corners and providing double insulation under the chairs. My only concern is the weight, with regular use I may end up looking like a lopsided female bodybuilder, not really my style...
Thursday, 11 February 2016
Dyson Failure!
Distressing as it is, I have to confess that the new Dyson is not all that it's cracked up to be!
System failure after five months is causing chaos, the Wolf's hair balls are turning the Foxglove Falls into a desert scene from Mad Max... An emergency call is now out to Mel Gibson! Well, in my case to Lola, model agent extraordinaire, who is proving to have a University Challenge level of understanding on the pros and cons of vacuum cleaners.
"Peaches,what are you doing with a Dyson in the first place? We've been through all this before, I thought that you had learned your lesson!"
Of course, she's absolutely right. During my long, arduous hoovering career, the Dyson and I have never truly bonded; too faddy, with excessive novelty plastic and requiring a precision degree in mechanical engineering. Not a match made in heaven as Leo so helpfully points out, watching me struggle to extract yet another twig from the suction pipe!
"What you need, Peaches, is a SEBO, I'm googling it for you now, as we speak," advised Lola. "Check your emails, I'll send you the link. Look... here's the perfect one for you: SEBO Automatic x4 Pet Eco Upright. Sounds like it'll practically hoover the whole house for you..."
Now when it comes to Best Friends, Lola is tops! Her ability to source gadgets and instinctive understanding of consumer trends is legendary. Hopefully,we may have re-established contact with slate floor tiles by tea time!
System failure after five months is causing chaos, the Wolf's hair balls are turning the Foxglove Falls into a desert scene from Mad Max... An emergency call is now out to Mel Gibson! Well, in my case to Lola, model agent extraordinaire, who is proving to have a University Challenge level of understanding on the pros and cons of vacuum cleaners.
"Peaches,what are you doing with a Dyson in the first place? We've been through all this before, I thought that you had learned your lesson!"
Of course, she's absolutely right. During my long, arduous hoovering career, the Dyson and I have never truly bonded; too faddy, with excessive novelty plastic and requiring a precision degree in mechanical engineering. Not a match made in heaven as Leo so helpfully points out, watching me struggle to extract yet another twig from the suction pipe!
"What you need, Peaches, is a SEBO, I'm googling it for you now, as we speak," advised Lola. "Check your emails, I'll send you the link. Look... here's the perfect one for you: SEBO Automatic x4 Pet Eco Upright. Sounds like it'll practically hoover the whole house for you..."
Now when it comes to Best Friends, Lola is tops! Her ability to source gadgets and instinctive understanding of consumer trends is legendary. Hopefully,we may have re-established contact with slate floor tiles by tea time!
Monday, 1 February 2016
A Lifetime of Kindness
This morning the tributes continue to flow regarding the legendary kindness of Sir Terry Wogan. Emotionally shattered at his passing, yet another pillar of our youth, I was startled when the mobile shimmied into action. Lola's contralto tones filled my ears.
"Peaches, I've only just stopped crying..."
"I know darling, Terry was legend."
"Exactly, a voice from the homeland! We had breakfast with him every day. Radio 2 was the official station in our house, anyone daring to turn the dial to radio 1 risked the wrath of Dad"
"I know Lola, it was the same chez-nous. I can still hear Milly singing along to Island of the Airwaves as she multi-tasked, simultaneously burning the toast and the porridge. She always was ahead of the curve".
"You're right there darling, absolutely fabulous fun, as long as she wasn't your mother!"
"Tell me about it... Of course Milly and Ivy Rose be thrilled that Terry's arrived to DJ Radio Heaven".
"You do realise, Peaches, that full responsibility for our sanity is now going to land squarely on Frank Skinner's skinny shoulders."
Lola's addiction to Frank's podcasts is legendary. He was even permitted to accompany us on our grand tour to Valencia for that wedding! Only Frank and his side-kick Emily Dean were permitted passes to the inner sanctum of our dressing room. Such is Lola's fascination...
"Peaches, I've only just stopped crying..."
"I know darling, Terry was legend."
"Exactly, a voice from the homeland! We had breakfast with him every day. Radio 2 was the official station in our house, anyone daring to turn the dial to radio 1 risked the wrath of Dad"
"I know Lola, it was the same chez-nous. I can still hear Milly singing along to Island of the Airwaves as she multi-tasked, simultaneously burning the toast and the porridge. She always was ahead of the curve".
"You're right there darling, absolutely fabulous fun, as long as she wasn't your mother!"
"Tell me about it... Of course Milly and Ivy Rose be thrilled that Terry's arrived to DJ Radio Heaven".
"You do realise, Peaches, that full responsibility for our sanity is now going to land squarely on Frank Skinner's skinny shoulders."
Lola's addiction to Frank's podcasts is legendary. He was even permitted to accompany us on our grand tour to Valencia for that wedding! Only Frank and his side-kick Emily Dean were permitted passes to the inner sanctum of our dressing room. Such is Lola's fascination...
*
Scarlett googled Lent this morning. We are planning a Choc-Free-Athon for the full 40 days, and to get into the swing of things we are starting our chocolate reduction policy today.
"Only one small square of dark chocolate is allowed per day". We need this on health grounds, Auntie Peaches, our healthy one a day."
Ahh, withdrawal is already snapping at my willpower. What with the national tide of grief, at the demise of Sir Tel, I am a tad dubious about our timing. Watch this space for our Chocolate Addict's Diary...
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